saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
