My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
