Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
