walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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