The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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