My pussy is not your playground.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
