Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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