You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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