i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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