Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize