just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
