come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
