Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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