I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
