i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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