come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
