READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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