Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
