my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
