So drunk its hurt
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
