im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize