i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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