i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize