I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
