Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
MIDGETS
????
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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