he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize