So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
