I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
