haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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