it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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