It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My ass is underappreciated
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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