If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize