it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
