i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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