You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
