You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
