is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
