woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
