im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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