so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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