But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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