I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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