everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
