Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
