I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
