I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
