I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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