So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
