i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
