so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
