Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you will always have a special place in my vag
How's work?
Spinning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
