U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
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