You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
