Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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