Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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