wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If I die, sorry about rent.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
