Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
