I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
