No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize