I want to make a zoo with you.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
