The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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