uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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