Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
