I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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