He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
