Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
