the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
